WE WERE SMALLER ONCE...AND SLEPT

Because our KING-sized bed has been moved to our lake house, when we are here in Georgia we are forced to sleep in the only bed left here which is useable - a QUEEN bed. After 5 nights of discomfort I asked Pat how in the world we ever slept in this torture rack for 5 years and after some thought he said "We were smaller once, and slept". I nearly rolled off my side of the bed laughing. Thats not too much of a stretch since there are only a few inches to spare on each side.

My sleeping patterns do not make it easier to adjust to this bed. I have two pillows and my shroud. Shroud, you say? Its a raggy old cotton pink throw which I arrange in a wad and cover my head, leaving an airhole for breathing. I can't stand any light in the room - find it distracting. Pat tells me to just close my eyes and I won't see anything but for some reason I do. Maybe my eyelids are the only thin part of me? Pat gets into bed, and minutes later he is usually sound asleep, snoring peacefully. Not me. I am "rootchy". I may be comfy on my left side after arranging blankets, pillows and shroud - but then a little thought starts to have a voice - "You might be more comfy lying on your RIGHT side". The thought gnaws at me until I flip over to give it a try. Flipping involves re-arranging pillows, blankets, and of course, THE SHROUD. This might go on for an hour, and of course at least once during this period nature will call, requiring the drill to be repeated. Max The Dog usually starts off in our bed but he is smart enough to know if he wants a good nights sleep he should stick to Pat's side of the bed - too much rocking and rolling on mine! I am usually wide-awake, listening to man and dog,snoring.

My ideal solution would be an IV drip of some fabulous sleeping drug. Hook it up at 11 and put me out. Please.