OLD LIFE CRISIS

Yes, you read that correctly. I missed out on a Mid-Life Crisis so I decided to have one now that I am in my old-life. Maybe you could call it an old-fart funk. Or name it a geezer gaffe. Whatever it is called, I must have it. I feel useless. Non-productive. Lazy. Lethargic. Sleepy. (One day last week I got out of bed at 2pm! ). Pat tells me to "go with it" and not beat myself up about it. He says that I have worked hard all my life and I should just kick back, relax and not worry about it. If I want to sleep late, then go for it. I, on the other hand, think that I need a swift kick in the butt. Sitting around all winter has made me a selfish slug. I think of all the places I could be of help but I just sit here, a waste of skin. Let me add that the afore-mentioned wasted skin is gaining in latitude and longitude from my attitude!

When I was working so hard in my past I used to think - wouldn't it be nice to just sit at the table and read the paper in the morning instead of rushing to work or to go out to lunch without worrying about picking kids up from school? You know, those grass is always greener thoughts that sneak up on us? Well, here I am. The grass is really green here, especially after all the rain we have had today. Instead of enjoying that freedom I fret over it. So tell me Doctor. What in the heck is wrong with me?
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Saw this somewhere and made me chuckle:

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and said, "Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"
Mabel answered, " I have a suppository in my ear?"
She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid."